Diet tips and tricks — Watch Kobayashi v. Bear, KevLAbeast eat a jar of nutella and a stick of butter in 4 minutes

First off, I love the fact that this video was posted in “Awful Announcing”…

It’s almost Memorial Day and you know what that means.

Wedding season.

Yes, wedding season is upon us again.

Since I’m also a bridesmaid this year, there will be professional documentation of me in a strapless gown number.

Yikes.

So it’s also diet season.

————————

I remember when competitive eating was kind of “big” and networks (FOX) jumped on that bandwagon with specials like “Glutton Bowl”. I even watched a few episodes of “MLE Chowdown“. But this was a few years ago, back in the day when “Survivor” and other challenge-based reality shows were on the rise. Back then, I was in middle school, had a crazy high metabolism and no responsibilities. Watching Kobayashi inhale hot dogs was just entertainment. And maybe inspiration because hot dogs are amazing.

Nowadays (yesterday), I’m watching this stuff again for a more serious purpose: grossing myself out so that I never want to eat again.

Diet season is great. It means summer is around the corner and I actually have to spend time working on my appearance, which I usually let go during parka and boots season.

Last year, I was on the no sleep diet: My weight and my mood ballooned inversely with the amount of sleep I got. More sleep, less fat. Less sleep, more fat. Or something like that. Still foggy on details of last year due to lack of sleep.

Two years ago, I was on the breakup diet, the Sacred Heart diet and the fruit juice diet: Heartache and hardcore crying caused heart muscle to work harder and stomach muscles to shrink; negative calories from vegetables and frozen fruit. I lost about 10 pounds.

And this year, as of yesterday, I’m on the Paleo diet.

I tried something similar, Atkins/no carb, for the first six months of 2006 and it worked pretty well. But I was still in college then and worked out four to five times a week. Now, between day job and night job (this and 45 other blogs) I’m lucky if I work out 3 times an earnings quarter.

That’s why I need videos like Kobayashi v. Bear this year, and videos from guys like KevLAbeast:

I watched four of KevLAbeast’s videos last night. They were all “suggested videos” in the right hand column and I couldn’t stop myself. Sticks of butter, Nutella, Cristal, 50 raw eggs…wow. No support group, diet plan or “work book!” has made me want to stop eating as much as watching this guy consume his own weight in food.

Immediately after watching, I googled Paleo, found nerdfitness.com, read 30 minutes worth of Steve’s blog posts to purge my mind’s eye, mouth and stomach, and committed to this year’s diet plan once and for all.

It has all worked.

So far.

Today, the only empty carbs I had were popcorn and three spoonfuls of gelato.

My wedding season goal is to slim down 6-8 pounds by June 15, which is when the bridal party is headed to Miami. It’s not THAT much but I need to do this so that I can wear some of the skanky stuff I’ve stored away to fit in with all the other skanks down there. I think I can do it. I just made KevLAbeast’s videos my homepage and taped a print out of the hot dog eating bear to my wall.

Strapless gown — bring. it. on.

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One comment

  1. […] Having just returned from Miami, I felt it was appropriate to continue looking at attractive girls in bikinis, as if I were still there, and as inspiration (PRESSURE) to stick with my wedding season diet. […]

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